Ironic funny. Not ha ha funny.

There are some things in life that just smack you in the face and then tickle you. And you're not sure if you think it's funny, or ironic, but you know you need to laugh. Maybe not a belly laugh, but most certainly at least a give the obligatory chuckle.

One of those things is that...I'm at this huge fork in my proverbial road. I'm always .. always ill, and my mom seems to think it's because I'm currently not "walking with the Lord."

The irony of it is that, life was never that easy when I was "walking with the Lord".

I mean, if you think about it, I had 3 very rough pregnancies, my ex husband and I were constantly struggling with our finances (not as bad as he led me to believe, but I digress), I had a micro-preemie son that almost died 3 (or was it 4?) times. He was born with a myriad of problems, and is a miracle in many forms...and many would argue with me that his being alive is purely from God, but I have to ask ... is his life really a miracle? Or is it just...chance?

I mean, really. If God is so real and loving and merciful..then why did he allow that to happen to my son in the first place?

Bad things happen to good people. It rains on the just and the unjust. It's a consequence of a sinful world.

Explain to me, oh wise ones, how my son's birth is a consequence of a sinful world. What did MY SON do to deserve to be put through that hell when he was born? And what, prey tell, were my sons's sins that he needed to be punished in such a way?

Now, my mom...back to my mom. I love her. So very much. And it kills me when she sends me these messages about seeking God, and how he can make everything right in my life. Yes .. I have health issues. But really? Look back at my life. I've always had health issues. They're just more obvious now because I work retail.

It's like ... when I was at Urgent Care the other day the Dr asked me "Have you been exposed to Strep Throat recently?" My reply? "Uhhh I work retail." She grinned "So...yeah."

Yes I have financial issues, but again...I work retail. I make beans for my monetary wages.

So...I figured out the problem.

Retail. I need out of it.

Oh, and, God, if you're reading this. Can you get me a new job please?

Thanks